Look around you and you’ll see sex everywhere. Staring you in the face on magazine covers as you check out at the grocery store. Plastered all over commercials as advertisers use it to sell you their products. Sex is on billboards as your drive down the highway. We see it everywhere and this conditions us into thinking that this is how to make your woman happy. But are we on the right track?
In his book, His Needs, Her Needs, Dr. Willard Harley, a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist and marriage counselor, outlines the top 5 things that all women need met in their lives in order to build and sustain a successful marriage. !SPOILER ALERT! He doesn’t include sex in his list.
How To Make Your Woman Happy
Dr. Harley writes that a husbands and wives come into a marriage with emotional needs that need to be met by each other for 2 reasons:
- Promises are made to each other to allow the spouse the exclusive rights to meet the other person’s most important needs. If those needs go unmet, then one spouse feels like they have been cheated on and now have to go through the rest of their life without an ethical alternative.
- By meeting the other person’s needs you create an environment of healthy love for each other that is essential for building and maintaining a successful marriage.
Without further ado, let’s get into our 5 simple things that are guaranteed to make your woman happy!
AFFECTIONAn affectionate environment brings out the best in a spouse. Click To Tweet
Husbands should tell their wives that they love them with words, with cards, with flowers, with gifts, and with common courtesies. By touching, hugging, and kissing his wife multiple times each day, a husband creates an environment of affection that repeatedly expresses his love for her. This environment brings out the best in his wife.
CONVERSATIONListen to understand, don't listen to respond! Click To Tweet
Husbands should set aside time each day to talk to their wives. Topics like life events, the kids, goals, or feelings are topics that may not seem important to you but are extremely important to her. No matter the topic, wives enjoy conversing with their husbands because it is never judgmental, always constructive, and always informative. He should always make himself available to his wife for them to just talk. Husbands, pay attention; your wife doesn’t always need you to solve her problems; she just wants you listen to them. Listen to understand, don’t listen to respond!
HONESTY AND OPENNESSHonesty with your emotions, thoughts, behavior, and intentions should become second nature. Click To Tweet
Don’t let your wives be surprised when conversing with other people. Tell her everything! Don’t let her be surprised because you left out some vital piece of information. Husbands should share their good and bad emotions, their past, their schedule, and future plans. He should never give her a false impression about their life. Honesty with his emotions, thoughts, behavior, and intentions should become second nature.
FINANCIAL SUPPORTHusbands should take on the responsibility of clothing, feeding, and housing their family. Click To Tweet
Husbands should take on the responsibility of clothing, feeding, and housing their family. In the instance where the husband’s income not be enough to provide the essentials for his wife and family, he should take steps to upgrade his skills by investing in himself to increase his salary. He should not work long hours because this keeps himself from his wife and his family. However, he should be able to provide the necessary support to his family by working a 40 – 45 hour week. Husbands should encourage their wives to pursue a career. While encouraging her to pursue a career, he shouldn’t depend on her salary for the family’s living expenses.
FAMILY COMMITMENTOutings, reading books, and playing sports with your kids provide a lasting positive impact on them. Click To Tweet
Husbands should commit time and resources to the moral and educational development of his children. Taking them on frequent outings, reading to them, and engaging in sports with them provide husbands with a lasting positive impact in the early development of their children. He should actively read books and attend seminars with their wives on the topic of child development; allowing them to maximize their impact on their children. Husbands and wives should sit down with each other and discuss discipline and training methods and objectives until they are in agreement. He should not attempt any method of training or discipline without the wife’s approval. He should realize that the care that they provide to their children is critically important.
According to Dr. Harley, these 5 simple things are the basics for how to make your woman happy. What do you think ladies? Does Dr. Harley hit the nail on the head here with establishing his basic needs for women or are his ideas outdated?